


You Are What You Owe

by ERNest



Category: The Fourth Messenger - Shaffer/Teng
Genre: F/M, Gen, Past Relationship(s), enlightenment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 06:03:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8316583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ERNest/pseuds/ERNest
Summary: Raina is getting better at sitting close to the ground but still sees the silence as a thing to be filled - this time, with the past.





	

“Hey, uh.” Raina is getting better at sitting close to the ground but she still sees the silence as a thing to be filled. “You realize you never owed him anything, right?”

And Mama Sid does that soft laugh which always unravels her drive. “That’s not what you said the last time we had this conversation.”

“What?” She racks her brain and then realization dawns. “Oh! No, not my dad, he still deserved more than just a note in the night.” They already _have_ had the conversation about how Raina deserved more too. “I’m talking about that sleazebucket, Andy.”

“What!” The guru’s voice goes almost as high as in the memory of an old woman who attacked her persona of purity “Andy’s just another soul no different from yourself.”

“Eurgh, no _thank_ you.” Raina can’t seem to help herself when it comes to being outspoken. Or the expression on her face, apparently. “Sorry,” she says. “It’s just — a few weeks ago when we were shoveling snow together and talking about you, I thought the story of how you met was really sweet.”

“So…”

“But I was dating a married man old enough to be my _father_ at the time, so my judgment wasn’t exactly… my attachments still aren’t the best, see.” She takes a breath and welcomes the icy air. “And then he _used_ me.”

“Oh Raina…” She shifts her weight slightly, and Raina couldn’t /stand/ it if she tries to hug her like a mother might, not when her voice is still all Holy One, so it’s a relief when she relaxes back. “But Andy’s not like that. If anything, I’ve used him.”

“Okay, this I gotta hear! How did _you_ take advantage of that tool?”

“All the times he’s saved my life, and the way he makes sure I get where I need to go when I can’t focus on the material plane, and I don’t treat him any different from the rest of my dear friends, no _wonder_ he left.”

“So what!?” Raina is inches from exploding and has to remind herself that none of this is Mama Sid’s fault. “You’re a part of everything, you don’t have _time_ to pay him special attention!” Off her knowing look she says, “Look, I’m still a bit agnostic about all… this… but anyone as devoted as he claimed to be, wouldn’t he know that he’s not entitled to all of you?”

She’s beginning to see that _nobody_ is entitled to all of anyone else, guru or not.


End file.
